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tunnelnuke
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Name: Daniel
Country: Singapore
Metro: Singapore
Birthday: 5/25/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: I read. I laugh. I listen. Nuff said. No just kidding that's never enough is it? Listens to Good ol' Rock n' Roll..Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, The Doors (whose lead singer I absolutely adore), Rainbow, Dire Straits, The Who, Hendrix, The Beatles, Queen..music from the Sixties to the Seventies..basically if your dad heard it then I'm still listening to it. Also gets major kicks outta Dream Theater, who has to be the best prog metal band around, and Iron Maiden. Reads Neil Gaiman (his stories are life-changing), Umberto Eco (this Italian is an amazing writer..go check him out) Oscar Wilde and a dozen other writers who have managed to influence the modern literary world. If you read, speak to me. I love "Get Fuzzy".
Expertise: Conjures silly analogies, creates similes and concocts situations as ridiculous as a skunk in a sack of rice. Actually it could be a sack of wheat too but it is only logical I adopt an Asian context. The skunk makes sure it not only reads silly, it smells silly too.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: tunnelnuke@yahoo.com
Yahoo:  tunnelnuke@yahoo.com
Jabber: Oh ho I don't go round jabbing people
Member Since:
12/18/2004
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| It's pointless to say things will blow over, not when petty quarrels happen as often as they do. Now more than ever I believe the fault lies with me, and if it does, then we're better off without me dragging things down. All along I pride myself like a Narcissus in being a friend with unimpeachable loyalty but really, I should just wake up and see that all I do is create barbed fences for you. | | |
| I muse on the possibility that, no matter how much I pride myself on my loyalty to friends, how often I trumpet dedication, how fervently I establish kinship, it all comes to naught because it is impossible for anyone else to hold my views as their own. Not that my views are lofty in any manner, or that they are ideals (though I would not argue that they are not idealistic) that become a badge of virtue, but simply because of individual difference. It's just impossible for anyone to think alike with anyone, and because of that, I can only anticipate that in the coming years, or months even, if I push myself to the point of pessimism, people - friends - will leave me. And I will not hold it against them because that is the way things fall together. It is not because I do not have faith in my friends. On the contrary, I have faith in them to look at life in a far more realistic manner than I could ever allow myself to do. To assume that I could be the one constant in their lives in a world of 6 billion people and counting, to assume that time will not sunder any fragile bond currently between us, to assume that I would be consistent enough to show the same people the same amount of love even when we go our separate ways, to assume anyone would do the same for myself -
How fucking pretentious of me.
Meet-ups get cancelled, birthdays forgotten, messages never read, the poor excuse for friendships known as social networks are just reminders of isolation, these then are the facts that remain. And already I feel them taking root, one way or another.
The hope that someone, some ones, will prove me wrong, drives me on for now. It is true that time will tell, though not so much in a manner expected of a bearer of good news, but rather in the hushed tones of a messenger with news of defeat at his fingertips.
Hope, hope. I can only hope, and apologize if I've let anyone down. Perhaps ages after we've travelled the paths laid out for us, someone will find a moment to remind me that once, for a fraction of a fleeting lifetime, I actually meant something to them.
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These things keep me up at night. | | |
| Christmas this year has been marred by 1) food poisoning from Thailand (and not from the roadside stalls; it was the 5-star hotel's waffles and pancakes that did me in), 2) excruciating backache during a 12 hour bus ride from Chiang Mai to Bangkok that was exacerbated by a tire blow out (not mine, the bus's) and said food poisoning, 3) a two month old Macbook Pro that crashed/fried its RAM/PMSed leaving me tentatively typing this out.
I don't think I've had a very Merry Christmas for a while now. Usually I'm too caught up in my own emotions, wallowing in my own pain and cynicism, and being too broke to really experience Christmas the way the corporations want us to. But once in a while I try to perk up. So this time I guess I'll blog little thank you notes to people who've made life easier, even though none of them will read this or even know its existence.
Thank you to the people who've msged me once in a blue moon, however erratically, to let me know I'M alive, if not physically then at least electronically, to those who try to engage me in conversations as if I'm a really interesting person, to those who keep up once in a while by reading this or call me up suddenly, and to family of course.
And to a few that I really should mention in person:
Vanessa, for not being afraid to tread on my toes and showing me TOUGH LOVE, for being the butt of a not insignificant number of my jokes, and for working with me through projects and presentations despite my dodgy working practices of late.
Kai, for being so generous with cigarettes and food ever so often, and more importantly for offering her time to travel from place to place to meet up, and for bitching about life in general.
Nadia, for disappearing intermittently but always reappearing coincidentally at moments when I do need someone to talk to, and up til the time I moved out of Balestier, for being my coolest neighbour with the most quotable quotes ever.
Rachel, for cooking from time to time after school hours, because good food in NUS is so fucking hard to find, and groceries do not come cheap, and bearing the brunt of tempers and tantrums thrown from all sides.
Daphne, who has still stuck by me despite my tendencies to be too much of a woman at times, for not holding it against me when I do stupid things and piss you off, and for showing me patience (which I know is an extremely precious commodity) despite the ups and downs from time to time.
Chong, for being someone I KNOW will be there.
There. That's done. And my Mac hasn't died. Dum vita est, spes est. While there is life, there is hope. | | |
| Someone explain these sleepless nights. Perhaps it's the Christmas spirit overwhelming me, but if you're even remotely familiar with my festive cynicism, you'll know that I'd much rather have every shopper in town drop dead than "celebrate" capitalism. There is absolutely nothing on my mind right now; I'm content as can be, getting ready for a holiday in Thailand, enjoying my time out with friends, I have no deadlines whatsoever, no girlfriend or boyfriend trouble.
I just can't sleep. | | |
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